Relax, Take It Ea-easy...

State: Relaxing, catching up on my online stuff. This is my only day off from work this week so I am taking full advantage of it. Rachel is home so I am hanging out with her later too!
Book: The Hours by Michael Cunningham. I am still in the works with Angels and Demons too.
Music: Bittersweet by Kanye West ft. John Mayer. I love the chorus, the rest is all cursing...
Interesting thing that happened today: Im not working. But hey, I am back at Trent Bookstore in January for the next rush. Not permanently...No one wants me permanently! Ugh...it's frustrating!

I had to write a ton of poetry for writer's craft! A poem cycle...it contained 6 poems. I called it Six Elements of Mourning. It's basically the stages of dealing with death or a great tragedy. Maybe I'll post one every time or something. but i don't want to end up like one of those annoying emo kids who posts all their feelins on their blogs...Oh well, their not emotional poems, they are more imagist than anything else in my opinion. Im not even sure if they're any good. If you have comments...


First Poem from Six Elements of Mourning

1. When Water Dies And Becomes Ice


A lone girl struggles
across the ocean floor.
One solitary bubble escapes
her lips, bursting
as it reaches the surface.

The brook no longer bubbles,
but coils and slithers
inside the intestines.
There it freezes,
reeking of permanency.

The ice is heavy.
It anchors her to the coral.
She is forced to watch
as a shark devours
a lonely, silver fish.

As time passes, the girl’s shivering
creates ripples in the water.
The ocean floor is silent.
The captives then allows
her tears swim with the fish.

Determination, Equation, Humiliation...Let The Drummer Kick

Song: Let the Drummer Kick by Citizen Cope

You know, sometimes I wish my friends didn't read this...I don't know if they even bother to check it anymore considering I haven't written in a long time. Maybe if then didn't I could write something real, stuff that I just don't feel comfortable writting knowing they may see it.

Hey, you want to read my ode on a pencil...I did really well on it in my writer's craft class. My teacher says he wished he had written it...

Ode On A Pencil

The need to write: overwhelming.
No mundane utensil will do.
The writer’s itch: disconcerting.
I am unable to correctly construe
The tremendous need for pencil lead.
That scent of understated wood
Is irresistible, to say the least.
While using ink, I am mislead,
My thoughts, drifting unlike they should.
Pen’s a confounding, undying beast.

Black ink, much too permanent,
Shackles feet of creativity,
While the use of a pencil can prevent
The restraining effects of gravity.
By means of a pencil, the mind soars.
It grasps at the unimagined realm
While ignoring guidelines and mistakes.
The tool itself has no great stores
Of unexplained power, but is the helm
Of artistic thought, the path it takes.

The pencil is a magic wand
Casting spells across the page,
Creating an inscrutable bond
Between the written and the engaged.
Through the lead, ribbons of cloud,
Storms of words, of rhymes and prose,
Come to life with a mellifluous dance, all
Fervent and joyful, eager and proud.
Raindrops of truth it does compose.
Oh! The glory of one small pencil.

Hello Old Friend...

Wow, I has been a long time! 8 months...
It would be impossible to catch you up on my whole life but I'll give you snippets as we go along.

I suppose I'll continue on with this thing:
State: Sitting upstairs on the Mac [my laptop crashed over a month ago] while skipping my one class - Writer's Craft. I skip this class at least once a week and it is basically pointless to attend because we do nothing in class. I do have alot of homework to get done that I told my mother I would be doing whilst skipping.
Book: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown... It's the prequel to The DaVinci Code. I began reading years ago but only got the the 14th chapter. Im tyring to read all the books I've forgotten to finish over the past few years.
Music: none, but I'll find some for you. Okay...Diamonds Are Forever by Shirley Bassey
Interesting thing that happened today: Im skipping school...not so interesting. I work later though. Yes, I finally got a job...acutally this is the third Ive had since June...Funtastic Funhouse I quit, Trent University Bookstore I was only hired for Spetember rush and now LCBO for Christmas. I got an extra shift tonight so that will be fun...haha...sooo sarcastic!

So schoolwise I took a an extra semester of highschool...I need an extra credit or i wouldnt be here anymore. I had two classes, Writer's Craft and Data Management, but I dropped Data cause it was terrible and I was terrible at it. Basicaly Im really lazy...I read alot and watch alot of tv and go on the computer and dont do alot of homework...In a week I work almost constantly...and always 2-10:30...loong shifts.
I started a scrapbook. I know, I know...but it's acutally so much fun. Really time consuming which I like! I havent worked on it for about a week but I will get back on that after Im done working because that really takes up most of my time.
I need to have a shower...

Alright I think I will leave you here...Hey, maybe I'll even get this back up again. Facebook kinda stole my attention for a while there...

Crushes on Cartoons...

"But tomorrow upon hearing what I did, I'll stare at you in disbelief.

Oh inconsistent me! ...crying out for consistency."

- Relient K, Let It All Out

State: Full of blueberry pancakes and watching Anastasia...I LOVE this movie. I used to watch it all the time but we dont acutally own it so I never watch it anymore. I used to have a crush on the guy Demetrie from the movie. Yes, I had a crush on an animated character. The music is catchy too.

Book: I'm reading The Live of Girls and Women by Alice Munro for English. It's pretty dull. Im on page 120/240.

Music: None

Interesting Thing That Happened Today: It's a snow day. I was sick yesterday. Next week there is a day off and then March Break. Not much school lately. Im missing placement but there are only 8 kids there today. I'm getting my passport picture taken later today. Wahoo...

Demetrie really is so cute...haha...he just gives up the money and walks away even though he loves her. So sweet...*sigh*

Idol Addicts Take Over...Beware...

I almost missed Grey's Anatomy tonight!!...I only got to see the last twenty minutes which I am okay with because I know basically what happened. It was on early tonight and I didn't know that until I checked online to see what time it was on because stupid American Idol needs to be on at exactly 8 o'clock! Grrrr.... Why the hell is that show so popular, sure it has really funny and entertaining people who audition, but what's the thrill after the auditions are over. My family is full of Idol Addicts. I will watch it if it's on and I'll watch our recorded tapes of the auditions, but after that I just get bored. Okay so there is this guy named...uh...oh Blake and he is pretty good looking and there is this other guy, Brandon, who is gorgeous and they both can sing. I guess watching attractive guys sing can be a factor for girls, which prolly make up the bulk of their 30 billion people across the US and Canada who watch...Ach...Grey's Anatomy and Lost are much better shows yet they just get pushed aside when Idol comes on. In fact, they get pushed earlier so if someone, me for instance, doesn't know it's on earlier, then they get to turn on the TV at that sacred 8 oclock hour only to find that American Idol is on and they missed the final episode of the thrilling three episode special and don't know whether Meredith is alive or dead and whether we will find out who the pregnant girl with the smushed face is and what will happen with Denny in the weird limbo like operating room that Meredith appears in at the end of last episode and will Christina ever get to tell Meredith that she and Burke are engaged and what happens with Alex just because he's my favorite!!! That was the longest sentece of my life! OKAY...that's it for this rant...enjoy the rest of the evening.

Egg's are Flying!!!...

"And today I'll trust you with the confidenceof a [wo]man who's never known defeat."

- Relient K, Let It All Out

State: Watching the Wedding Planner on TBS. The guy who plays Massimo is Alex from Grey's Anatomy. Snacking on Lays...
Book: After by someone and The Lives of Girls and Women by Alice Munro for my english ISU.
Music: What's Your Flavor on a Popeye's commercial. Mussa, from So You Think You Can Dance, is on that commercial...dancing...
Interesting thing that happened today: I ate salmon quiche. We had band practice right after church. Um...Im slacking off on my homework and writting this when when I should be reading my short story and writting points for my seminar next week. It's basically just an oral essay. I think thats all the homework I have...And I should read my ISU novel. Im trying to finish After first because i't's for White Pine and it's really short. Once I finish that book I've read 5 which means I can vote for which book can win the White Pine Award.
I start placement at keith Whiteman for Theater in the Community tomorrow. I'm really excited and if I dont like it, well it only last for 3 weeks. I'm not quite sure what to expect, but I'm with grade 6's so I'm hoping they will be at least a bit mature. *Fingers Crossed* So that's where I'm at...Now I'm going to watch Cheaper By The Dozen just because I am too lazy to pick up the romote and change the channel...oh well, it's funny and Tom Welling is in it. The frog just jumped into the eggs and they went everywhere.

Quick update...

"Cuz we're so scared to find out (what this life's all about), so scared we're gonna lose it, and knowing all along that's exactly what we need."

-Relient K, Let It All Out

State: restless...I'm not sure why or how else to describe it. I feel like I should be doing something with someone somewhere. I also should be practising my guitar but I've been lazy this week. I just play what I want and don't practice what Suneal gives me. Yes, that is how you spell his name for all those people whom I had difficulty explaining it to. Hmmm...that wasn't very good grammar.

Book: I stopped reading Small Eternities and just finished a White Pine book called me and the Blondes by Teresa Toten earlier today. I'm starting my English ISU books soon so I wont have alot of time for pleasure reading, though I do hope my ISU books are good.

Music: Softer To Me by Relient K. I have all of their CDs on my iPod under shuffle. I'm cant wait till MARCH BREAK!!!

Interesting thing that happened today: I had to present a drama game/warm up for my Theater in the Community class. I taught them how to play Elves, Wizards, and Giants. It's so funny how a group of grade twelves can have SOO much fun playing games meant for 10 year olds! That's all we have been doing period 3 for the past week. It's so much fun! I do have to do a write up but I can hand that in any time. Mrs. Russel's pretty good about not caring when we hand stuff in so long as we do hand it in. I do have to do a write up on a short story tonight. I think I have accounting homework but it's a stupid class...ssooooo...

Well, that's an update on me. The Hope Valley Dinner went really well and me and Melanie are getting along well. It's funny how I never really talked to her until this past summer and now we friends and "should hang out sometime". I love her though. Um...Dylan and Tristan owe me money which is no surprise. Impact is starting back up after a few weeks hiatus. Were going to study a book of the Bible which Tristan said he would pick for Wednesday. I hope it goes well. I dont know how much I'll be there because I have placement and then we put on the show, so that will be interesting. I've been reading the Bible alot more lately, which is really good for me. Ephesians is my favorite! Im pretty sure that going to KLBC will be really good for me and is what God wants for me. I was talking to Nicole Wease on Saturday and she said that going there has really made her grow up and was really good for her and she's pretty excited Im thinking about it. Im feeling really good about that decision. So I think that is pretty much it. Nothing else to interesting... Alrighty then, see ya!

The Bra-less Adventures of Sick Sara...

"Let it all out (get it all out). Rip it out, remove it.

Don't be alarmed when the wound begins to bleed."

-Relient K, Let It All Out

I was looking at this song and really like all the lyrics so it is now my new song which I will always post at the beginning, like Forever Young before it. Oh and I also got that video of sexy back on if you want to watch it in my previous post.

State: Feeling ill and laying/sitting in bed. I suppose it is a good time to miss school because we haven't really started anything important yet. Also, I'm looking up that concert Emily was talking about with Relient K and Mae!! Oh I'm so there!! (They are apparently not yet for sale online...) Oh and I am also defragmenting my extremely disorganised and slow computer.

Book: Haven't been reading much lately. Still on Small Eternities (cheesy name) by Micheal Lawrence. page 50/322. So you can obviously see it's not all that interesting yet.

Music: I was listening to Let It All Out but I stopped when I went on my computer.

Interesting thing that happened today: This guy came to check our furnace and when he came in the door he out "Randy" (which is my dad's name) and then he saw me instead and thought he scared me when really I was just embarrassed to be seen by some random guy in my pajamas because I had just woken up. Also I was bra-less and that is always embarrassing!

So I went to Graphite last weekend and it was amazing!! I believe I have already said that out worship band played all the music for the retreat and it was so much fun. I was in a room with Emily and Bethany(her sister if I haven't mentioned that before) and so we got plenty of sleep! I was quite happy about that one. We played at ton of games in the snow and in the gym and I fell down a lot. One of my knees is seriously bruised because I fell on it pretty hard in Octopus and Broom ball. I couldn't bend it very much for a while but it's pretty good now. I got to see a bunch of people that I hadn't seen since the summer or at least for a couple months which was great too. So that was a fun weekend and I have been in withdrawl for the past couple days but that's okay because I am going to see a few of the people for the Hope Valley Fundraising Dinner. We have practices on Thursday and Friday for those of us who are part of the drama-ish type program and then the dinner is on Saturday. I'm looking forward to that though I do have to find my way to Edminson and we all know I'm not that great with directions...most of the time anyways. Luckily I'll have Seana and Joel with me who hopefully know their way around Peterborough. Okay well this is becoming very long so I'll finish up quickly. We started our new semester on Monday. I have Accounting (which sucks) and Theater in the Community (which includes English and I'm pretty excited about the whole thing). It takes up three periods and we create a play and tour it to different schools in Peterborough-and-surrounding-area and there is also a co-op type placement where we go to a school and help teach drama. So I'm looking forward to that quite a bit. Alright, time for me to take a nap or attempt to eat something. Have a better day than me!

Here is a picture of Graphite that I stole form Seana's blog:

From Left to Right: Back Row- Bethany, Karris, Phil, Jerry, Joel, Andrea's little head, Vanessa, Me looking very strange indeed, Aaron. Third Row (kinda jumbled)- Andrew, Ian, Al, James, Katrina(in front of Joel), Seana (blocking Anne), Emily, Sebastian, Dominique. Second Row- Katerina, Katie, Katie, Torie, Susanna (aka "Baby") Tanya. Kneeling Front Row: Brad with Liam, and finally Etienne. We are missing Emily's parents Malcolm and Kathy. So there were 29 of us in total from our youth group and 130 or something in total there.

I am so boring!

"Painted skies, I've seen so many that cannot compare to your ocean eyes."

- Mae, Sun and the Moon

State: Complete and utter boredom, I thought today would be relaxing and i would let my brain veg but I am just so bored. I have choir to look forward to at least. But not for another hour and a bit...

Book: Small Eternities by somebody...Im too lazy to reach for the book. Its the sequel to A Crack In The Line...

Music: Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake...what...it's catchy! And travis wall dances to it so it must be okay right?!

Im kinda to lazy to write anymore...Here tell ya what Ill do, Ill post that video so this isnt the dullest post ever. Here is is: the beautiful Travis Wall and Benji whatever his last name is, along with Heidi and Donyelle in the Top 4's final group dance, Sexy Back!

I Am A Professional Camel Tamer...

"We don't need no education. We dont need no thought control. No dark sarcasm in the classroom. Teachers leave them kids alone. Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!"

- Pink Floyd, Another Brick in the Wall

Well it has been a while, now, hasn't it? I have been so busy lately with studying for exams and tutoring my sister and taming mad, wild camels that I have not had time to post. Yes, I am a professional mad camel tamer. They are running loose around the P-Dot lately and I just had to do something about it. If you believed that you are a moron. (No offence.) I have been told I am a compulsive liar but I just seem to have to much fun telling untruths. I do tell people when I'm lying though. Mostly... But that is a long story. Um let's see. I had my math exam last Thursday. (for some reason i wrote Saturday originally instead of Thursday...go figure...cuz i got no clue why...) i have vocals sight reading tomorrow and the dreaded chemistry exam on Tuesday. I am going to fail because I am not going to study and I am not going to care...at least on the surface. It's just that I really couldn't care less about anything I have learned in chem this year and I will never use it again...unless i want to impress people with my knowledge of why they use graphite for a pencil or what happens when you bang to metal balls covered in tinfoil or how to make aspirin. See...nothing I will ever use. And those are just the things that we weren't actually taught but just facts she mentioned. Except for the aspirin which was a lab we had to do. Wow that was long-winded. So I don't think I'm really going to study and well see what happens. Because I DONT CARE ABOUT CHEMISTRY AND AFTER TUESDAY I WILL NEVER HAVE TO TAKE IT EVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!!!!! Happiest day of my life.

We are going to Graphite (it's a camp) for a retreat from Friday to Sunday this coming week! I am soo excited, especially since my worship band from church is doing all the music for the weekend. And cuz the food is really good. but mostly the music. We are getting so good and i am so happy for us!! Wahoo...well that's all for now. I must go waste the rest of my evening sitting on my bed staring at a blank computer screen. Hope you have more fun than I do. Ta ta!

Noname. (because it's so much cooler...)

"...It’s just the price I pay. Destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes..."
- Mr. Brightside, The Killers

State: I'm not stressed about anything at all today which is new. Recital is over, and the fear thing is in God's hands. Sure, Im still terrified, but Ive decided that whatever happens, happens because God wanted it to. It's up to me to just trust and follow. Thanks to everyone who commented, especially to Jerry for those verses. :)

Book: How To Be A Hero On Earth 5 by Rob Payne. It's part of the White Pine book club which I was so excited about. The way the author writes is so funny, very sarcastic humour and just funny lines. I would write some down but the book is 3 feet away and I therefore cannot reach it...nope i tried to stretch and it wouldnt work.

Music: Time After Time by Quietdrive. My sister recently downloaded the John Tucker Must Die Soundtrack so Ive been listening to it. It's pretty good.

I have nothing else of concequence to tell you.

So peace out and have a great day.

That old familiar fear...

"...that old familiar fear is tearin' at my words. What am I so afraid of?..."

- Here I Go Again, Casting Crowns

I have no idea what to do about this Hope Valley thing. I want to go back but I dont. If I do I am afraid they will ask me to do a devotion for the girls and that scares me soo much. I have no idea what I would do!! Im stuggling with reading the Bible as it is. I doubt I would be able to write a whole devotion from a book I barely know anything about. Everytime I think about everything I have been writting about the past couple days, my chest gets all tight. All this anxiety... Im listening to Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns now. Such a good song! When they played it live at Kingdom Bound I got a little emotional. Look up the lyrics sometime. They are so comforting. WHoa! Jesus is good with giving me ideas! I can do a devotion on fear! The fear of speaking out and/or doing God's will for your life. It is amazing how God can use your biggest fears and turn them around. This is becoming my truth blog, telling about everything I am scared of and stuff...

Updates and Fears...

"Isn't it easy to see I'm falling for you-ooouuoo.. Yeah yeah..."

So I had the feeling that you didn't want to be reminded of Christmas past becuase now were back at school and have only exams to look forward to. So now we are moving on to not so random lyrics from songs I have been listening to...not neccesarily that I am listening to at the moment, but just lately. It just so happens I was just palying that song on my guitar. I got lessons for Christmas (finally) and some new strings which sound funky...im not sure if it is in a good or bad way.

Book: I have the next one in the Crack in the Line series but havent started reading it yet. The 4th Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants comes out TODAY!! I want to go get it but I have no time tonight. They are also starting a White Pine book club thing at my school and as nerdy as it might sound, I really want to go because I was in the Red Maple one when I was little and they have some pretty good books. And I dont have to pay for them!

I really havent updated you in a long time...about two weeks I suppose. I basically just hung out with friends and went skating alot this past holiday. We had Hope Valley reunion which was alot of fun and Im thinking of going back...Im really scared of them asking me to do a devo though! I have no idea how to do one. God would definetely take the reigns on that one fo sho... I dont know... I feel really unsettled about the whole thing which makes me think that Im either on the wrong track completely or headed in the right direction but just need to let God lead. That's something Ive been struggling with when thinking about post-secondary education...It's pretty freakin' scary!! I have no idea what He is planning on doing with me. I am actually just so scared...afraid...terrified out of my wits...that still doesnt seem to describe the panic that seems to rise in me every time I think about my future. I acutally was looking at the KLBC website last night which is weird because going there never really crosses my mind. I need chocolate...Mmm thats better...haha...okay well that's all for now because I am acutally quite busy tonight. Cheers!