Anxiety-Making... and other allusions you may or may not understand...

Oh how long it has been. I just want to apologize to my parents and friends back home because I know you are lost without me and this is the one way of staying in touch with me. So again, I am so thoroughly sorry, but can't promise I can keep it up. I did pretty good for the first month though.

So here is some sad news. I don't know if I will be able to get my tattoo here. We went to Edmonton (which was so much fun) last weekend, but having such a love for clothes I spent my tattoo money. So going to college next year and paying for that stuff is more important that a tattoo at this stage in my life, though it really does pain me to say so. I called D+M seriously for about two weeks trying to get in for an appointment, but either they had no free spots or Chad, the artist I want to tattoo me, wasn't in. So it is really a bust for me and makes me sad. If I had all the money in the world (or a steady paying job) I might be able to consider it, but since I am a summer volunteer going to college next year and therefore putting myself in debt because of OSAP with no job prospects in the future, I can't really be frivolous. (I wasn't really thinking about that in Edmonton...)

Other than that nothing is really on my mind. We are supposed to have a Graffiti clean up around the city tomorrow morning, but there is talk of rain. It has rained all week. We haven't gotten and tattoo stories this week. The whole city seems to be in a weird funk because of the bad weather. This morning was gorgeous which helped a bit. We just need our sunlight!

Oh my family and friends are all going to Kingdom Bound... That is so sad because this is the first year my fam is going and I won't be there. I believe the Hunt's left today and everyone else leaves tomorrow. I actually am really missing it. I think I am preparing my heart to leave already. In a way I don't want to because we have made a lot of friends here and it has been an amazing summer, but 3 months is a long time to be away from home. (I figured if you include the 10 days driving time it ends up being 3 months approx.) I guess I am just ready.

Overall though I think I have definitely grown a lot! Jen was telling me she thinks I have really softened, become gentler and deeper. I think this is partially the case, but also I am just getting tired. And frustrated, but mostly tired. I know God has it under control but it still is anxiety-making! (catch the Pretty's reference there?) I'm glad for the friends I have and have made here though. I have a hard time talking about my own issues and anxieties because I am so used to listening to others' problems and don't take time to work my own out. I just hold it all inside until I am about to burst. SO I am glad I have people who can just be there for me and for a Savior who is always willing to listen even when I feel like I can't tell anyone else.... when I don't want to tell anyone else.

Alright well I wasn't planning on getting in to all that... but ya. There's me in a nutshell!

Obsession!

So todaaayyyy...I got to hang out a D+M Tattooing which was basically one of the best times I have had so far. It was soo cool to actually watch people get tattooed (or pierced because apparently some girls were getting their *clears throat* nipples pierced) and I interviewed 5 people. It was just such a great atmosphere and I now know where I am going to get tattooed. Chad is basically an amazing artist and I would love for him to tattoo me. To be able to show off his talent would make me sooo happy! The only thing is that I have to go soon because they are moving their shop to Edmonton mid to end of July. That seems really soon and makes me nervous but extremely excited. Watching this guy get his first tat and see that he was actually in quite in pain was kind of excruciating for me. But it was really great to get to know the artists because it opens a lot of doors for us to meet people, especially kids, with tattoos. I am just really excited over all because I feel like everything is progressing so much. It is great to see this because it is such an answer to the prayers me and a couple of the girls have shared over the passed couple nights.

Now I am sitting watching a documentary with Leah and Adam called Dogtown and the Z-Boys. And am getting way too distracted. And Sam wants the computer...so I will chat more later! See ya!

(Side note: that was all last night but the Internet decided to stop working for me.)

Day 9 - Time Goes By So Fast!

I want to update, but all my energy is being put in the FortMac08 blog. I don't really know what exactly I am supposed to say anymore. I guess we have just been having a lot of fun. Yesterday a few of us went to the mall and bus stop to tell kids about the Dugout. We are having a big game of capture the flag today from 4 - 6. That is going to be fun!

I have been planning my tattoo out a lot more in the last few days. I have been told Fort McMurray is not the best place not get tattoos but I met a guy named Jed yesterday who told me about this place called Dragon FX in the West Edmonton Mall where he is going to get one on June 6th. He said he would show it to me when he gets back and that I can interview him, which I am really excited about. Actually I have my first interview scheduled for next Tuesday at 11:00 with this girl named Ashley who Rick met at Canadian Tire when we were going to get our van fixed (which was supposed to be fixed yesterday, but when Adam started driving it it was still very broken!)

Anyways, back to mine. I am thinking of getting my anchor tattooed up in between my shoulder and the lower part of my neck if that gives you any idea. I was reading through this book called The Tattoo Encyclopedia by Terisa Green. In it I looked up anchor and found this anchor cross (also called crux dissimulatat) and fell in love with it. It originally was used as a hidden symbol of Christianity for those who had fear of persecution. I want it to represent how far we have come and how faithful our Saviour has been to us over the course of history. And I finally found a verse to back it up: Hebrew 6:19 and surrounding verses which read:

"But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak: for God is not unrighteous to forget your work and the love which ye showed toward his name, in that ye ministered unto the saints, and still do minister. And we desire that each one of you may show the same diligence unto the fulness of hope even to the end: that ye be not sluggish, but imitators of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. For when God made promise to Abraham, since he could swear by none greater, he sware by himself, saying, Surely blessing I will bless thee, and multiplying I will multiply thee. And thus, having patiently endured, he obtained the promise. For men swear by the greater: and in every dispute of theirs the oath is final for confirmation. Wherein God, being minded to show more abundantly unto the heirs of the promise the immutability of his counsel, interposed with an oath; that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we may have a strong encouragement, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us: which we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and stedfast and entering into that which is within the veil; whither as a forerunner Jesus entered for us, having become a high priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek." (Heb 6:9-20)
(Read it in a different version if you want, thats the only one I had handy.)

Then as I was flipping through the book I found a section that read "Semper Fidelis" which means "Always Faithful" in latin, which I think applies well with this passage. In just finding that verse and in Jed telling me about this great tattoo place I really feel God leading me to this, which is really exciting for me. I know a lot of people are against it and there are quite a few dangers, but it just feels right for me.
Oh and parents! I need a note of permission for Rick just so he can have a sound mind because I forgot to get one before I left.

Alright so I must acutally start working now because it is almost 12 and I have a bunch of stuff to read!